The Impact of a Child's Mental Health on Caregivers

This video will offer tips on how to take care of yourself and your other family members or children while you navigate a mental health concern with a child.

Meet the speakers:

Dr. Steve Chennankara, Cook Children’s
Nathan and Christe Chandler, parents to five children

Disclaimer: These videos are not intended as a replacement for professional mental health care. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available.
If you have questions about your child’s mental health, contact your child’s doctor. Call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you believe that your child is having a mental or physical health emergency, go to the nearest emergency room or call 9-1-1.

For more information please contact: roadmap@cookchildrens.org

- [Narrator] Caring for children is hard, even on the good days. However, when your child is experiencing a mental or physical health need, it can take a toll on parents and caregivers. Here are some tips on how to take care of yourself, other family members, or children, while you navigate a mental health concern with a child.

- As a parent watches their child going through mental health concerns, I'm imagining from my experience and what I've seen is that the parents often have a lot of guilt, they have a lot of worries, they have a lot of uncertainty that they're going through. The recognition of stress with the caregiver is quite important, because, one, they're modeling appropriate coping skills to their children during a time of stress. Two, it is important for them to stay on top of their best mental condition in order to make difficult medical decisions for their children. Three, for their own longevity, when it comes to the endurance, they need to know that this is a marathon and not a sprint.

- Like our daughter has some struggles with ADHD and then also with anxiety. I think I've learned from my daughter as well as sometimes it's kind of draining, like just relationally with my husband and I, and with other kids, but also like with her trying to to do the best job we can parenting her.

- Advocacy is... It's a very big topic. What parents can do is to be honest with their children, honest with their peers. Managing the stigmas from a family perspective, I think, is an individual choice. I don't think there's a one size fit all approach. So, recognizing and being aware of the stigmas that the parents have, or the child has, or a family member has, and bringing that to the light, and processing that, and working through that is important first. And, then they can go to the next circle, which is friends and family.

- Yeah, I think it's important to bring the whole family in and not just because their sister has some issues that we all need to be aware of and sensitive to, but, in the world, this is gonna be a common occurrence that you're gonna come into contact with people that have struggles. Sometimes, you won't even know it. And, so just being more sensitive toward other people, being more thoughtful about how you act, because we don't know what people are going through. And, here's an example from the outside, a lot of people can't tell that your sister has struggles, but you don't know when you're dealing with people what their struggles are.

- There's levels of advocacy that each family may choose to go through depending on where they are, in their stage of caring for their child, or sharing testimonies from your child or from other children is a great way to reduce the stigma, like of two other people where they feel like they're... Like your child is not the only one struggling with mental illness. This is a very common issue that adolescents and children go through. One in four kids go through some type of mental distress throughout their developmental period.

- Juggling other people's opinions is a tough one. It's a tough one. And, so I've learned to keep my circle of people whose opinions I care about very small. I care about professionals' opinions and the people who I really know love our child, I care about their opinion. And, outside of that, I'm pretty, pretty selective about who I even share things about her with.

- I think it's important for parents to remember that their best is good enough for their child. Many parents want to do their best for their children by being perfect and there are no such thing as perfect parents. And, a child does not need a perfect parent. They need a present parent.

- As parents, you feel like failures, if you have to get help raising your kids and addressing some of these issues, and it's important to overcome that. And, once you do and you start seeking just help, I feel like you become more aware that this is a common problem. You learn that it helps really kind of embolden you to address these things head on. And, there's a lot of help out there. And, it's important to take advantage of all those resources.

- What parents can do to help in these situations are just being honest about their experiences, maybe from their childhood to kind of exposing them to people or people that they respect who have had mental illness and are flourishing. Those are two good ways that they can help their child kind of break that stigma for themselves.

- Yeah, somebody told me it's at one point that if you want your kids to tell you the big things when they're teenagers or adults, then you have to listen to the little things, because, to them, they were always big things. And, I... That's just stuck with me, just to keep that perspective of the things that don't seem like a big deal to us are a really big deal to them.

El Impacto de la Salud Mental de los Niños en los Cuidadores

- [Narrador] Cuidar a los niños es duro, incluso en los días buenos. Sin embargo, cuando su hijo experimenta una necesidad de salud mental o física, puede pasar factura a los padres y cuidadores. Aquí hay algunos consejos sobre cómo cuidarse a sí mismo, otros miembros de la familia o los niños, mientras se enfrenta a un problema de salud mental con un hijo. Dr. Steve Chennankara, Centro Médico Infantil Cook

- Cuando un padre ve a su hijo pasando por problemas de salud mental, me imagino que desde mi experiencia y lo que he visto es que los padres a menudo tienen mucha culpa, tienen muchas preocupaciones, tienen mucha incertidumbre por la que están pasando. El reconocimiento del estrés con el cuidador es muy importante, porque, uno, están modelando las habilidades de afrontamiento apropiadas para sus hijos durante un momento de estrés. Dos, es importante que se mantengan sobre su mejor condición mental para poder tomar decisiones médicas difíciles para sus hijos. Tres, para su propia longevidad, cuando se trata de la resistencia, deben saber que esto es un maratón y no una carrera corta. Christe y Nathan Chandler, Padres de 5 Niños

- Nuestra hija tiene algunas dificultades con el TDAH y también con la ansiedad. Creo que he aprendido de mi hija que así como a veces es un poco agotador, en la relación con mi marido y conmigo, y con otros niños, pero también con ella, tratando de hacer el mejor trabajo que podemos de criarla.

- La defensa es... Es un tema muy grande. Lo que los padres pueden hacer es ser honestos con sus hijos, ser honestos con sus compañeros. Manejar los estigmas desde una perspectiva familiar, creo, es una elección individual. No creo que haya un enfoque único para todos. Así que, reconocer y ser consciente de los estigmas que los padres tienen, o el niño tiene, o el miembro de la familia tiene, y sacar eso a la luz, y procesar eso, y trabajar en ello es importante primero. Y, luego, pueden pasar al siguiente círculo, que son los amigos y la familia.

- Sí, creo que es importante involucrar a toda la familia y no sólo porque su hermana tiene algunos problemas de los que todos debemos ser conscientes y sensibles, pero, en el mundo, esto va a ser algo muy común, que vas a entrar en contacto con gente que tiene problemas. A veces, ni siquiera lo sabrás. Y, por lo tanto, ser más sensible hacia otras personas, ser más reflexivo sobre cómo actuar, porque no sabemos por lo que la gente está pasando. Y, aquí hay un ejemplo desde el exterior, mucha gente no puede decir que tu hermana tiene problemas, pero no sabes cuando tratas con la gente cuáles son sus luchas.

- Hay niveles de defensa que cada familia puede elegir para enfrentar la situación, dependiendo de dónde se encuentren en su etapa de cuidado de su hijo, o compartir testimonios de su hijo o de otros niños es una gran manera de reducir el estigma, como de otras personas y que puedes sentir que tu hijo no es el único que lucha con la enfermedad mental. Este es un problema muy común por el que pasan los adolescentes y los niños. Uno de cada cuatro niños pasa por algún tipo de malestar mental a lo largo de su periodo de desarrollo.

- Hacer malabares con las opiniones de los demás es muy duro. Es difícil. Y así, he aprendido a mantener mi círculo de personas cuyas opiniones me importan muy pequeño. Me importan las opiniones de los profesionales y las personas que realmente sé que quieren a nuestro hijo, me importa su opinión. Y, fuera de eso, soy bastante, bastante selectiva sobre con quién comparto cosas sobre ella.

- Creo que es importante para los padres recordar que lo mejor de ellos es suficiente para su hijo. Muchos padres quieren hacer lo mejor para sus hijos siendo perfectos y no existen los padres perfectos. Y un niño no necesita un padre perfecto. Necesita un padre presente.

- Como padres, puedes sentirte como fracasado si tienes que pedir ayuda para criar a tus hijos y abordar algunas de estas cuestiones, y es importante superar eso. Y, una vez que lo haces y empiezas a buscar ayuda, siento que te vuelves más consciente que éste es un problema común. Aprendes que eso te ayuda a envalentonarte para abordar estas cosas de frente. Y, hay mucha ayuda por ahí. Y, es importante aprovechar de todos esos recursos.

- Lo que los padres pueden hacer para ayudar en estas situaciones es ser sinceros sobre sus experiencias tal vez desde su infancia para exponerlos a la gente o gente que respetan que han tenido enfermedades mentales y están prosperando. Esas son dos buenas maneras en que pueden ayudar a sus hijos a romper el estigma para ellos mismos.

- Sí, alguien me dijo en un momento dado que si quieres que tus hijos te cuenten las cosas importantes cuando sean adolescentes o adultos, entonces tienes que escuchar las cosas pequeñas, porque, para ellos, siempre fueron cosas grandes. Y, yo... Eso se me ha quedado grabado, sólo para mantener esa perspectiva de que las cosas que no parecen ser un gran problema para nosotros son una gran cosa para ellos. Este video no pretende sustituir la atención profesional de la salud mental. Si tú o alguien que conoces está luchando o en crisis, la ayuda está disponible. Si tienes preguntas acerca de la salud mental de tus niños, contacta a su médico. Llama o manda mensaje de texto al 988, Línea de vida para crisis y suicidio. Si crees que tu niño tiene una emergencia de salud física o mental, acude a la sala de emergencias más cercana o llama al 9-1-1.

Home | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness - NAMI is dedicated to improving the lives of millions of Americans affected by mental illness.
Lifeline (988lifeline.org) - Call or text 988 to be connected to the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States.
Suicide Prevention | Suicide | CDC - Helpful information on Suicide prevention from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.
FAQs Category: Mental Health and Substance Abuse | HHS.gov - Helpful information from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services to learn more about mental health and substance abuse.
The Trevor Project | For Young LGBTQ Lives- The Trevor Project is a national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to the LGBTQIA+ and questioning young people under 25. Call: 866-488-7386 | Text: START to 678678
Cook Children's JOY Campaign (cookchildrens.org) - Raising Joy is part of Cook Children’s Joy Campaign, which aims to encourage hope and resilience among children and teens.

Key topics

Mental health and stigma

Trusted and supportive relationships

Technology, social media and bullying

Red flags of mental health: Is this a crisis?

What to do while you wait for services

Impact of child's mental health

Coping cards for kids and teens

Our community created these coping cards to give you an activity to try when your feelings get really big or overwhelming. These activities will give your body and your brain a chance to catch up to the feelings and help you know why you feel the way you do.

Child coping cards

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Teen coping cards

Print English coping cards

Print Spanish coping cards

Additional mental health resources

Behavior and emotion resources

Coping with emotional or behavioral issues is hard. We get it, and that’s why we’ve put together resources to help you take those first steps on your journey toward better mental health.

The Impact of a Child's Mental Health on Caregivers

Meet the speakers:

English Transcript

Spanish Transcript

Resources

Key topics

Coping cards for kids and teens

Child coping cards

Teen coping cards

Additional mental health resources

Behavior and emotion resources